Give Me Love like Her
by darveycanon206
Summary: Alternative take on Sucker Punch. Harvey is involved with Zoe and Donna gives a different answer to that complicated question.


_A massive thank you to Sarah, you know why._

* * *

_To dear anon,_

_I really hope you'll enjoy this, so you'll learn to be kinder next time around._

* * *

Harvey was pouring himself a hot cup of coffee when he felt her arms encircling his waist from behind, reaching for the buttons of his shirt to help him get ready for work. Her head was placed in the crook of his neck and he could feel her hot breath on his skin.

Yet, his mind was a million miles away, and she could sense it.

"Morning," she softly whispered in his ear.

"Morning," he replied as he placed his own hand on hers over his stomach, trying to make up for the lack of nearness he had been showing the past few days.

Harvey and Zoe had been in a relationship for a couple of months and things were getting pretty serious between the two of them. He had reached out to her because he was in need of her expertise for a case he just _had _to win and he had discovered once again that he really enjoyed her company. And that's all their relationship had been about ever since they'd started seeing each other. Enjoying some time together. Harvey liked her. She was beautiful, smart and witty, some may say she was exactly Harvey Specter's type. Still, he could sense something was missing, something didn't feel completely right. That's why he wouldn't call what they had _love_.

But he was okay with it; he had so much on his plate lately that their relationship had been a welcomed distraction for him, and he surely wasn't looking to get married soon anyway, was he?

Zoe seemed to feel just fine about where they stood too. That's why their "agreement" was working out so well. They were on the same page, or at least that's what Harvey thought.

As he placed his cup on the counter, she unwrapped her arms from around his form and moved in front of him to face him, or at least she was trying to face him. She could sense he wasn't anywhere near her. His hands had been reaching for his tie for more than ten minutes now, trying to fix it but not succeeding at the task. A task that, for many years, someone else had dealt with perfectly for him.

"Is everything okay?" Zoe asked, replacing Harvey's hands with hers and fixing his tie once and for all. A gesture that didn't go unnoticed by Harvey, who rapidly swallowed in response.

"Yeah, it is," he simply replied before stepping away from her and walking towards the bathroom, "I just need to clear my head a bit."

Zoe knew Harvey was lying, and she also knew exactly why he was so worried that morning. They were about to start his trial run about the whole Coastal Motors fraud mess and everything was at stake for him. That's why she could understand his attitude and she was also willing to look past it.

What was really bugging her though was the fact that, during the few months she and Harvey had been together, she had learned to read him and that morning she could tell his mind was focused on one person, and that person wasn't her. But for Harvey's sake and maybe even for her own, she was willing to look past that too.

As Harvey closed the bathroom door behind him, he leaned against it, letting out a soft sigh. Nothing was okay. His career, his license, his life at Pearson Hardman, they were all on the line. Being a lawyer was what Harvey thought was his essence. And the thought of losing it all for a stupid mistake was making him sick to his stomach. Who was Harvey Specter without winning? A loser, just like the ones he had been defeating his entire life.

Still, the real deal behind his distress had nothing to do with the law. It was all about Donna.

Ever since she got fired, things with her had gone downhill. He had tried to reach out to her, but of course he hadn't been able to do it in the right way. He hadn't even been able to pick up his phone himself and call her, what a coward. That's when he had decided that the only way to really speak to her was doing it face to face. He had forgot about his pride and ego, because it was Donna he was talking about, and got himself to her place to at least try to convince her to come to the trial run.

He needed her. He had always needed her. But he had failed to be there for her when she needed him the most. And he was paying the price for it. She wasn't going to come to the firm today, she wasn't going to be there to protect him.

And_ that_ was the real reason behind his discomfort. His relationship with Donna was on the line. So, in the end, the real question really wasn't "Who's Harvey Specter without winning?" but "Who's Harvey Specter without Donna Paulsen?"

As much as he had hoped this moment to never come, Harvey was about to find out the answer to that question today.

.

.

.

Clearing his head was hard but he knew he had to do it because the trial run they were about to start was no joke. He had to be good. He had to be himself.

He took a deep breath as he exited the elevator, leading his way to the library where they had set up everything for what was about to begin. Mike was standing right outside the room, waiting for him.

"Morning, Harvey," he greeted his boss.

"Mike," Harvey simply replied, stopping right in front of him.

"Are you ready for this?"

Ready. He surely wasn't. He knew Rachel was going to be there and play _her_ role, but she had never been a part of the mess they made years back in the first place, she didn't know how it all happened, how _she_ must have felt when _she_ found that memo. He knew Rachel was good, but she was no Donna.

As Mike noticed his boss lost in his thoughts, his eyes landing on the ground and his mouth unable to come up with an answer to his simple - or maybe not so simple - question, he decided to help him out.

"I tried to talk to her," Mike started, "But she wouldn't listen to me."

Hearing his words, Harvey lifted his head to meet Mike's gaze.

"What?" he asked, confused and slightly upset.

"I tried to make her come here today."

Harvey rolled his eyes and closed his hand in a fist before making a step closer to his associate, "That wasn't your place, Mike."

"Harvey, we both know we need her to make this work," he replied as his boss was already making his way inside of the room, pretending not to hear him.

"We both know _you_ need her here."

Harvey suddenly turned around and marched back to where Mike was standing.

"Whenever I want your advice on my personal needs, I'll ask for it. Until then, just stick to what you're paid to do," he angrily said to him, flashing him a look full of annoyance.

"And Mike, remember you're against me in this," Harvey reminded him, his finger pointing at the room where they were about to start rolling the dice.

Before he could leave and finally reach his spot next to Jessica, Mike called him out once again.

"Harvey," he said, causing his boss to turn around, "_She_ isn't."

Harvey didn't reply to him, he simply gave him a nod before making his way inside and sitting next to Jessica, letting Mike know that, even if he would never admit that out loud, he was grateful he had always had his back.

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.

By the time Zoe arrived at Pearson Hardman, the trial run had already started and everyone was deep into it. She could hear Louis questioning Harvey from outside the room and she decided to wait a couple of minutes before making her way in. A couple of minutes to gather her thoughts about what she knew she was going to hear.

She had never met Travis Tanner but, judging by what Harvey had told her, the man had a huge Harvey sized chip on his shoulder and he surely wasn't going to go easy on him at trial. That's why they had asked Louis to impersonate him and play his role. Because the thing both Tanner and Louis had in common was the hatred for Harvey.

Even if it was just a mock trial, the questions that were about to be asked weren't going to be easy, not for Harvey to answer, nor for her to listen to.

That's the reason why she just needed a minute by herself, to understand that nothing, not today, not at trial, could make things easier.

As she was lost in her own thoughts, she spotted someone familiar coming out of the elevators. As soon as she realized who was walking towards her, towards the room she was about to enter, she felt a knot forming in her stomach. It couldn't be her, she was sure she wasn't going to show up.

"Donna, hi," Zoe greeted the woman as soon as she was close enough to hear her.

"Zoe," she replied, her lips curving into a not-so-friendly smile.

"We didn't think you would come."

_We_. As in her and the people at the firm or her and Harvey? Donna had never appreciated people speaking for Harvey, mostly because she was well aware he didn't need any kind of backup, he was more than capable of standing up for himself. Hence, the reason why Zoe's remark made her pretty upset.

"Well, here I am," she replied after clearing her throat, right before making her way past the woman and almost into the room, before a further question stopped her.

"Can I ask you why you're here?"

Donna turned around to face Zoe, who was standing in front of her, showing her a smile, trying to pretend she was happy that Donna made it to the trial run. Yet, her arms crossed against her chest and her distant attitude was telling otherwise.

"What do you mean?" Donna fired back to her.

"Well, we both know what's going to happen in there. Louis won't show mercy on anyone today, because Tanner isn't going to either," Zoe started explain, "Why are you putting yourself through all of this?"

Hearing her words, Donna swallowed before looking inside of the room, her gaze landing on Harvey on the witness stand.

"Because I care about him."

And before Zoe could say another word, they both heard Louis calling Donna Paulsen to the stand, causing not Rachel but the real Donna to show up inside the room and take Harvey's seat next to Hardman.

As soon as Harvey saw her, a wave of shock painted his face while, right next to him, Mike felt so proud of himself for being able to convince her to come, right before advising Louis to just stick to the script they had prepared for Rachel.

The moment she took her seat on that witness chair, her eyes couldn't help but glance at Harvey, who was still looking at her in disbelief. He could still sense hurt in her eyes, telling him that the events of the past few days were far from forgiven, yet he couldn't help but curse himself for ever doubting her in the first place. The truth was, no matter what, Donna would never let him down.

As everyone was expecting, Louis immediately started questioning Donna about the events around the destruction of the memo and Harvey's involvement in said events. Sitting on that witness chair, she was showing a composed face, but deep down, she was shaking. She, Harvey and everyone else in the room knew that all Donna was going to answer would be "I plead the fifth". She had admitted that to Harvey and she wasn't ashamed of it. She had hired an attorney because she didn't want to go to jail. So, she had every right to exercise her Fifth Amendment rights.

Yet, that wasn't going to stop Louis from getting upset. He wasn't going to keep asking questions she could play the fifth to. Tanner wouldn't and they had to be prepared for what would come if they'd go to trial.

That's the exact moment when all the fear, insecurities and panic Donna had been hiding deep inside her started showing up. Her hands started shaking, her face turned pale and her eyes became filled with terror.

She knew where this was inevitably going to end up. And she wasn't ready.

Louis started bombing her with questions. Questions that were irrelevant to the case, questions about her professional relationship with Harvey, about her personal relationships, about Mark.

And then, the question she had always feared the most hit her right in the face.

"Do you love Harvey Specter?"

"What?"

"Do you love him?"

Panic, rage, confusion, hurt. They were all showing on Donna's face. There was no way out from there. She put herself in that position, she chose to be there for Harvey and, once again, she was going to be the one who would get humiliated, the one who would take the fall.

"Do you love him, yes or no?" Louis kept asking, without showing any sign of emotions or respect for her, because Tanner wouldn't either.

Stop.

"Please I just need a-" Donna tried to reply, unsuccessfully.

Louis was now standing so close to her that she could feel his breath on her face. He was pointing his finger at her. He wanted an answer and he wanted it on that very second.

"Do you love Harvey Specter?!" he shouted at her once again, ignoring her plea.

Stop.

She just needed it to stop.

Now.

"Yes!" Donna cried out, placing both her hands on the arms of her chair and getting up, standing now right in front of Louis and the entire firm.

Louis took a step back as he noticed her eyes were wandering around the room in discomfort. She had just admitted in front of everyone that she had feelings for her boss. No, not just feelings, she had just confirmed everyone's assumptions.

Donna loved Harvey.

Louis, Mike, Rachel, Zoe, they all heard her.

Harvey heard her.

Harvey, who was now standing as well, right behind Louis. Harvey, who had stood up for her, trying to stop Louis's mean line of questioning from moving forward, but he hadn't been able to say a word before her unexpected answer. Not that he had been able to utter a single word afterwards either.

So now, him and Donna were standing face to face. Her eyes filled with tears, his eyes filled with panic, shock and confusion.

Donna closed her eyes, letting the tears streaming down her red cheeks, and without even looking at him or anyone else for a second more, she grabbed her purse and stormed out of the room, broken.

_Yes_. She had said yes. She loved him. But what would that even mean? Harvey couldn't move, he couldn't think. He was just stuck.

Many years back, after their first and only time, they had agreed to put it out of their minds, to never mention it again. He had always thought that, when she had made that request to him, she meant their night together. But right now, Harvey was wondering if, maybe, she meant that what they needed to put behind themselves was the fact that they were falling for each other.

But now, Donna had said it out loud. And that had scared Harvey to death. Because Harvey wasn't sure he knew what love meant. Was Harvey Specter even capable of loving someone? Was Harvey Specter good enough to love Donna Paulsen?

He wasn't. Donna was so much. Donna meant too much to him. And even though she had been the one to admit her feelings in front of the entire firm, hence she should have been the one to feel exposed, in that very moment, Harvey felt naked. Just like everyone could see through him.

And the truth was, he was terrified that people wouldn't like what they would find behind that fancy suit, that coiffed hair and that cocky attitude.

He was terrified that Donna wouldn't like it.

That was what he had always been most scared of. And that was why he had always kept his heart closed down.

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.

.

A couple of days later, as Harvey was sipping on his glass of scotch in his office, he heard Jessica's footsteps coming from right behind him.

"Mind if I join you?"

He reached for a second glass and, after he had filled it with the amber liquid, he turned around and gave it to his mentor. They both sat on his leather couch, enjoying their drinks, neither of them saying a word. Until Jessica broke the silence.

"You know, now that we know it wasn't her, you should bring her back," she suggested as she placed her empty glass on the table right in front of her.

"I should," Harvey replied while getting up to fill his glass once more.

"But?"

Harvey looked at her with a confused expression on his face, pretending not to know where Jessica wanted to bring the conversation.

"But, after that trial run, things are complicated."

He heard Jessica sigh at his response, followed by a small chuckle that made Harvey even more baffled than he was before.

"What?" he asked straight away.

"Look, Harvey, I don't mean to disrespect you here but, you have no idea what she had to go through in that room."

"I know it wasn't easy," he tried to explain.

"Easy?" she chuckled, "Harvey, you have no idea what it means to be have people judge your career based on how you look. You have no idea how it feels like to have people assuming you only got your job because you slept your way there. You have _no_ idea."

"And I'm not telling you this to make you feel bad, but that woman had to sit in front of her entire workplace and answer one of the most difficult and complicated questions she had probably ever been asked in her entire life," Jessica pointed out as she lifted her head in order to look directly at him, "And she, unlike many other people, had the guts to answer to it. Even if that meant wrongly confirming all the assumptions people had made about the two of you since you started working here."

"What are you saying?" Harvey asked, clearly overwhelmed by Jessica's speech.

"I am saying, what would you have said if you had been in her shoes?"

Harvey reached for his glass of scotch and brought it to his lips, tasting another sip of the strong liquor.

"That I can't be me without her."

"Then, Harvey, go and tell her that," Jessica suggested to him as she got up from his couch.

She made her way towards his office door, but before she could exit the room, she turned around once again to look at him, "And, Harvey?"

"Yes?" he asked, lifting his eyes to meet her gaze.

"Bring the goddamn woman back because you can't even pick up your own phone without her, let alone be the closer the firm needs you to be."

Harvey let out a soft laugh as he shook his head in response, "Deal."

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.

.

He was looking through the old records someone was selling on the street as he saw a glimpse of red hair in the corner of his eye. She was wearing a pair of blue jeans with a white sweater and her hair was curling down her shoulders. It had been years since Harvey had seen her in casual clothes and yet, he had never forgotten how beautiful she had always looked, no matter what she wore.

Donna was about to reach the front door of her building when he stopped her.

"Donna," Harvey said, catching her attention before she could step inside.

She had seen him. She just _didn't want _to see him.

"Goodbye, Harvey," she annoyingly replied, not even turning around to face him.

"Oh, c'mon, are you for real?" he tried to lighten up the mood of their conversation, unsuccessfully.

Donna decided to ignore his banter and placed the key inside the door lock instead, "I'm going inside."

"I want you back."

His words stopped her before she could even approach her entrance. Donna knew what he meant. Her mind brought her back to that morning at the diner.

"_I don't want to lose you."_ Just like that other time, right now, all he wanted was for her to come back to work for him, nothing more. Yet, hearing those four words coming out of his mouth, she couldn't help but freeze. Because deep down she knew that, both today and all those years ago, she wanted those words to have a whole other meaning.

Donna took a step back, removing her key from the lock and finally turning around to face him, "Do you think I want to come back after what happened?"

She moved from the steps in front of her building and got closer to where he was standing, "Now that the entire firm thinks I love you?"

"You did say it, Donna," Harvey replied, not sure where she wanted their conversation to end up.

"Oh my god, you think I do?" she uttered, bringing her hand to her forehead and laughing in disbelief at the same time.

Harvey tilted his head, confused by her words. She had said it, out loud, in front of everyone. And now she was saying she didn't feel that way about him?

"I am not in love with you, Harvey," she started explaining, after she'd understood this might have been a little disorienting for him, "I said it because Louis was pressuring me and we both know he wasn't going to stop unless I gave him the answer he wanted."

She did love him. Deep down she knew she did. She just wasn't sure she was ready to admit it to herself, let alone to him.

But Donna loved him, and one day, not too far from that moment, she would get there.

"So you can relax if that's what's making you so uptight," she laughed, looking at him being still as a statue.

"I am not uptight," Harvey fired back at her.

This time, Donna was the one tilting her head and pointing out that that was bullshit.

"Ok, funny," he replied giving her a nettled smile, "If that's the case, then come back."

"I said no," Donna simply said, turning her back to him once again.

Harvey sighed as he watched her walking away and, putting his ego aside, he finally said it.

"I need you."

"Need?" she asked, surprised by his choice of words.

"Need."

"What does Jessica think about it?" she had to test the grounds before making her decision.

"She agrees with me," he reassured her, well aware that was what she needed to hear.

"What did you say to her?" Donna asked, still not completely convinced.

"I told her that I can't be me without you."

Did he really say that to his boss about her? Donna wasn't sure on how to react, but her body surely did as she felt a knot in her stomach as soon as she heard his words. Yet, she gave him the face, the "don't bullshit me again" kind of face.

"Ok, I thought it," he was lying, he had said it, loud and clear, but she wasn't the only one not ready to admit something that meaningful to him yet, "And she knows it."

"I'll come back on two conditions," she finally said to him, giving up her upset attitude.

"I'm listening," he replied with a soft smile forming on his face.

"One, you give me a check bigger than the last one."

"And the other?" he asked, taking an envelope out of his jacket and giving it to her.

She smiled. He had always known her better than anyone else.

"I get to fire Cameron."

"Who?" he questioned her with a puzzled expression on his face.

Donna laughed, not even slightly surprised he had no idea who she was talking about, "Your new assistant."

"How come you know his name and I don't?"

"Oh, so the forgetting names thing doesn't only apply to girls, what a shock," she mocked him, reminding him how much he needed to improve on the dating front. And yet she knew, he would never forget her name.

"Funny," he said back to her, "Why do you even want to fire him in the first place?"

Donna looked at him straight in the eyes, serious as ever "Harvey, the guy insulted my filing system. He needs to pay for it."

He couldn't help but laugh hearing her words, getting the confirmation of how much he had missed her, and that, no matter what, no one could ever take her place.

"What?" Donna asked, surprised by his reaction.

"Nothing, I'm just noticing _how _Donna you are."

She lifted her brows at his remark, knowing full well he was quoting her and what he was referring to, "Oh pretty, you still have _no_ idea how Donna I am."

"You sure?" he winked at her with the memories of the other time flooding back. He had never put it out of his mind. No matter how hard he had tried, he just couldn't. Or maybe he never tried so hard because, the truth was he didn't want to forget.

"Bye Harvey," Donna replied to him, ignoring his remark and making her way back to her place.

"See you on Monday, Donna," he shouted loud enough for her to hear him and causing a smile to appear on her face, matching the one he was wearing.

He'd just got _his _Donna back.

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.

.

His smile never left him. Not on the street when he ran to catch a cab. Not on the ride home. And surely not the moment he entered his apartment, only to find Zoe sitting on his couch.

That smile didn't go unnoticed to her either.

"What are you so smiley about?" she asked, thinking he must have won a huge case.

"I went to see Donna," he replied as he placed his keys on the kitchen counter.

Noticing her face had assumed a not-so-pleasant expression, he decided to give her some more information about his day, "Jessica and I agreed to hire her back."

"And you think that's a good idea?"

Harvey knew Zoe had never been a fan of Donna, just like Donna had never really liked her either. But this wasn't personal, it was business, it was about his work. And even if things had got slightly more complicated after the trial run, he still didn't think Zoe had anything to do with his work relationship with Donna, and he surely didn't appreciate her tone.

"I think she's the best legal secretary in New York City."

"So you want her back just because she's good at her job?" Zoe challenged him, as they both knew, Donna had never been just his secretary to him.

"I want her to come back because she didn't deserve to be fired in the first place," he explained, pointing out she had already received enough unfair treatment and she surely didn't need Zoe questioning her position as well.

But Zoe didn't seem to want to let the subject go, "And you're not concerned about what happened at that trial run?"

He didn't want to discuss what happened in that room anymore. He had his explanation from Donna, and, even if part of him had hoped for a different answer from her, her words were the only ones he would believe about the events of that day, "What do you mean?"

"Harvey, we were both there," she sighed, tired of him being a legal superhero but not acknowledging anything that involved facing his feelings.

"It's not like that between the two of us," Harvey tried to explain, visibly upset about her assumptions.

"Harvey, she admitted she loves you!" Zoe shouted, letting her hands settle on her waist as she got up from his couch and moved further away from him.

"_Love_ can mean many things..." he mumbled, trying to make sense out of what had happened in the past week.

"I'm sure that's what you've been telling yourself for so many years when it comes to _her_."

She turned her back to him, bringing her hand to her face in order to wipe away the tears that had decided to make this whole conversation even more humiliating for her.

Harvey felt sick watching her like that. He had never wanted to hurt her, but he couldn't' understand what he had done wrong. He had just given a woman, who had been wrongly accused of hiding evidence, her job back, just like she deserved.

"Look, Zoe, what do you want me to say here?" he asked her, as he moved closer to her, even if she didn't seem to want to face him yet.

"I once told you that the reason I didn't call you back years ago was that you never showed me any vulnerability…" she started explaining, still not able to look at him, "Well I guess I was wrong because, right now, it is clear to me that your vulnerability has always been Donna."

"Where are you going with this?"

Zoe turned around and placed both of her hands on Harvey's cheeks. She looked deep into his eyes before she started speaking, "Harvey, I want you to show me that you want this to work," she said, gesturing between the two of them, "I want you to show me how you feel about me, because all you've showed me for the past few days is how you feel about _her_."

As he heard her words, Harvey knew what he had to do to make it right to Zoe. That's why a salty tear met her hand before she could take it off his face. His heart was already aching at the thought of what his action would do to _her._

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The next morning, Donna arrived at the office wearing one of the sexiest dresses she had in her closet. She wanted to make an entrance and she sure as hell was fulfilling her aim, because, as she walked through the halls of Pearson Hardman to reach her cubicle, all eyes were on her.

"Get out, and take your color coded filing system with you," she ordered Cameron as soon as she spotted him sitting on _her _chair.

"It's a system, how do I-" he mumbled before she cut him off.

"I'm trying to give the moment some dramatic flair," she rolled her eyes, "Now you ruined that too."

As the poor guy walked away from her cubicle, she sat on her chair, throwing his colored Post It's in the bin and smiling widely as she felt home again.

She didn't see Harvey looking at her from the corner of the hall. But he did see her. Her smile, how happy she looked to be back to work, to be back to him. And he was hating himself for what he was about to do, because he knew he would take that happiness away from her.

He took a deep breath and walked to his office, hoping she would just ignore him, so that he wouldn't have to do it at all.

But she didn't.

"Morning, Harvey, did you see how I nailed him?" she proudly asked him, her smile never leaving her face.

"I'm sorry, Donna, I have a lot to do today, I really don't have time to waste on that interim guy," he rudely replied to her, not able to look at her while doing so and cursing himself for his words.

Before she had the chance to say anything, he stormed into his office and closed the door behind him.

Donna had no idea what had just happened. He seemed to be so happy about her coming back the day he asked her to and she couldn't make sense out of his attitude towards her that morning.

But she decided to let it go, because bad days could happen to anyone, even to the great Harvey Specter. Tomorrow would be better, she told herself.

But it wasn't. Not tomorrow and neither the days and the weeks that followed. Harvey was cold, distant. Their signature banter was gone, their late night dinners with that shitty Thai she loved never happened again.

It was one particular day that she realized how much things had changed between them.

Mike had approached her cubicle with a stock of files in his hands, asking to see Harvey as soon as possible.

"Donna, where is he?" he had asked her, sure she would know the answer.

But Donna didn't. For the first time in her life, she had no idea where Harvey had gone. Because he had stopped telling her about the meetings he didn't want her to put in his calendar. He had stopped talking to her about anything.

"C'mon Donna, you always know where he is," Mike had insisted.

"Mike, I don't know," she had said, giving him a look full of hurt that had let him know that it was better for everyone to let the matter go.

They were not Harvey and Donna anymore. They had become just an ass senior partner and his assigned secretary. Nothing more than that.

And now, she regretted the day she had decided to come back.

.

.

.

Two weeks later, Donna had just hopped inside the elevator to start her day when she saw a hand stopping the doors from closing. She recognized that hand, even if she had hoped it could be anyone other than him.

As Harvey spotted her, he turned his gaze to the floor and moved to the back of the elevator, letting her stand in front of the doors. He leaned on the walls and hoped those minutes that would take them to get to their floor could last a second.

He was standing right behind her, literally only a couple of feet were separating their bodies, and yet, she still felt him a thousand miles away. Her heart was breaking. She was losing a friend, her best friend, and she didn't even know why.

Halfway through their ride, she couldn't take it anymore.

"Why?" she simply said, bringing Harvey back to reality as he was lost in his own thoughts.

"Why what?" he asked her back, confused by her question.

She didn't turn around to look at him as she spoke, she didn't need to see his face while hearing his answer. She wouldn't be able to look him in his eyes without falling down.

"Why did you bring me back?" she went on, explaining him what she meant with her previous question

"What do you mean? I told you why."

Donna let out a small chuckle hearing his words, "Yeah Harvey, you asked me to come back because, in your own words, you _needed _me, and then when I do come back, you start treating me like a stranger."

She paused to take a deep breath before continuing, "Do you have any idea how that feels?"

"I am not-" he tried to make up an excuse for his behavior even if he knew no excuse could stand. He had just been mean to her and she deserved to know the reason why.

Before he could tell her anything else, she turned around, showing him she was crying.

"Harvey, I miss you," she managed to tell him through her tears, the sight of her causing him a huge amount of pain, "I miss us."

"Donna…" he couldn't reply, he was at a loss for words. Seeing her breaking apart because of him had left him speechless and defeated.

Donna looked at him, still searching for an answer for his actions of the last weeks, "Why are you acting this way?"

Harvey let his eyes find the floor, not able to man up enough to tell her the truth. But she was Donna, she had figured it out.

"It's her, isn't it?" she asked him as she bit her lip, nodding at her own words.

"You already know that," Harvey blurted underneath her breath, still too much of a coward to face her.

Donna chuckled as she heard the elevator ding and the doors open. She took a step out of it and once again, turned her head to look at Harvey, who didn't seem to want to move.

"Well, Harvey, just remember that sometimes, when you keep pushing people away, they might end up liking it there."

And with that, the elevator doors closed on them, leaving Harvey alone with his thoughts and the hurt her last words had caused him.

As he reflected on his actions towards her and how much he must have hurt her during the last few weeks, it hit him. Were the doors closing on their relationship as well?

And it was exactly in that moment that he thought about what his life would be like without her.

Sad. Lonely. Empty.

He didn't want to live that life. He knew what needed to be done.

If he had to choose between having a relationship and having Donna by his side, he would always choose the latter, even if in that very moment, he couldn't quite figure out why yet.

(It's only years later that he would realize that's because Donna was his life).

.

.

.

The next morning, Harvey saw her typing something on her computer the moment he arrived at the firm. She wasn't smiling anymore, she wasn't happy anymore. But this time he knew he was about to fix it.

He walked towards her and he handed her the cup of coffee he had in his hands, "Morning."

"Morning," she replied without even looking up.

"Can you please call Ripley for me to set the meeting about the merger and give me their transactions files?" he asked, causing her to turn around on her chair to reach the said documents.

The moment she passed them to him and he grabbed them, before she could let go of her hold on them, he said it.

"It's over."

Donna finally looked up to meet his eyes and without saying anything, she let him know she wanted to be sure he was okay. He nodded on the way to his office, knowing that would answer her unspoken question.

As he sat on his chair, he looked at her and curved his lips in a smile, getting a tender one from her in response as well.

They were okay.

Neither one of them was going to acknowledge that he had left his girlfriend for her. That he had chosen Donna over Zoe and that he would do it again with every other woman during the course of their lives. They were not ready to admit it to themselves yet.

It's only years later that they would realize the I love you's they said throughout the years and all the times they didn't say the words out loud but meant them, they were true.

It's only years later that they would realize how much time they had wasted. That she had always been the only person he couldn't lose.

That they were made for each other. That they were in fact each other's everything.

It's only years later that her "Yes" would become her "I do."

* * *

_I hope you guys liked it, I was quite nervous to post this because it's my first attempt back to angst in months._

_Thank you for taking the time to read this and I can't wait to hear your thoughts!_


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